Georgia's 2017 Football Season: What SHOULD Happen and What WILL Happen

GEORGIA'S SEASON, GAME BY GAME


1. Appalachian State

Preseason Line: Georgia -14

WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN:
Eager to shake off the disappointments and growing pains of 2016, the Dawgs get out to a fast start, jumping out to a 31-0 lead before easing off the gas in the second half. DAWGS WIN 41-10. 

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:
Doubts over Jim Chaney and Jacob Eason foam over into full-fledged "FIRE BOBO" territory as the Dawgs survive the season opener on a stout defense and the leg of Rodrigo Blankenship.

Poor men take in the first half of game from a vacation property before swapping channels to the Bama-FSU game, because who GAS about App State or spending unnecessary time in the overgrown Chuck-E-Cheese that has become gameday at Sanford Stadium?  DAWGS WIN 27-24.

Other games to watch this weekend:
- Michigan vs. Florida in Dallas
- Alabama vs. Florida State in Atlanta
- UCLA at Texas A&M
- Tennessee vs. Georgia Tech in Atlanta


2. at Notre Dame (Preseason line: ND -3)

WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN:
Georgia extends their undefeated record against Notre Dame by yet another game in a classic matchup underneath the lights in South Bend. Dawg people who were there for the glory days go absolutely bonkers and truly believe that this season is one of destiny, notwithstanding the fact that Notre Dame is a terrible football team coming off a losing season in 2016. DAWGS WIN 17-13.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:
See above. 

Other games to watch today:
None. This is the game.


3. Samford
WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN: Dawgs win. You give your tickets to a homeless kid or something, go play golf, and then take your wife to dinner at Marcel because - lets be real - your life is bigger than college football. DAWGS WIN 48-13.
 

Your life is better than worrying about this game.

Your life is better than worrying about this game.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN: Dawgs win. You watch the whole game and subject any and every person in near proximity to a deep analysis on the strengths and weaknesses of the second and third string players that get to see the field. You have cereal for dinner because you are a sad and worthless human whose happiness in the fall is in large part contingent on the actions of 80 something 18-24 year olds who do not know you, never care to meet you, nor do they care about your well-being or life goals in any way, shape, or form. You then consider donating to the Magill Society as a way to artificially hedge this reality by way of feeling more invested in the AA as you fall asleep listening to a post-game call-in show. DAWGS WIN 27-21.

Other games to watch today:
- Tennessee at Florida
- Texas at USC


4. Mississippi State

WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN:
This is Mississippi State we are dealing with here. While we use the term "Poor Man's" in jest here, Miss. State is literally the Poor Man's version of the flagship school of the poorest state in the country. They ripped off our mascot. We should kick their ass home and make em lick their wounds at their granny's house while she watches "Steel Magnolias" for the 1000th time on her tube television set. UGA WINS 31-17.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:
QB Nick Fitzgerald is a player, and has some close ties to the UGA program. He s going to relish the chance to steal a win between the hedges, and I actually think they pull it off. MISS ST WINS 28-24.

Other games to watch today:

Notre Dame at Michigan State - 8pm on FOX


5. at Tennessee (Preseason Line: UT -1)

Georgia has not won in Knoxville since 2013, and had no business winning that game in overtime anyway.

Georgia has not won in Knoxville since 2013, and had no business winning that game in overtime anyway.

WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN:
These guys have now stolen two straight from the Dawgs. 2015 saw Nick Chubb's knee get blown out on an eerily prophetic first play from scrimmage in Neyland Stadium. 2016's hailmary ending was one for the books and made the 2001 game look like a relative bore-fest. Dawgs dig deep and pull one out 33-28.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:
See above.

Other games to watch today:

- Colorado State at Hawaii (Bobo in Hawaiian Shirt?)


Vandy's Zach Cunningham ruined homecoming in Athens last year on this 4th and 1 stop.

Vandy's Zach Cunningham ruined homecoming in Athens last year on this 4th and 1 stop.

6. at Vanderbilt

WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN:
After getting embarrassed at homecoming Between the Hedges last year, the Dawgs march up to Nashville and methodically destroy Vanderbilt in a physical, run-game dominated contest. DAWGS WIN 28-10.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:
After two back-to-back tough games, Georgia commits about 500 penalties and does just enough to pull one out at Dudley Field. DAWGS WIN 14-13.

Other games to watch today:

- Ole Miss at Auburn

- Bama at Texas A&M


7. Missouri / Homecoming


WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN:
Your typical boring homecoming game against a team that no one has any real animosity for. Dawgs sleepwalk through and win 45-24. 

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:
Dawgs sleepwalk for 58 minutes and wake up to a nightmare where they are down 5 points with under 5 minutes to play. Last minute TD keeps delusions of an SEC East championship alive for two more weeks as UGA heads into the mid-season break with only one loss. DAWGS WIN 31-28.

Other games to watch today:

- Texas A&M at Florida

- Auburn at LSU

- South Carolina at Tennessee

- FSU at Duke

- Virginia at North Carolina

- Oregon at Stanford


8. in Florida (Preseason Line: UF -1)

WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN:
It has been seven years since Urban Meyer was coaching in this game, but Florida's dominance over Georgia has continued, with the Gators claiming the last three games in the series without much resistance. Kirby sees his opportunity to make his stamp on the most important game on Georgia's schedule and starts a streak of his own, beating up on the Gators in a game that is not close after the second quarter. You ride your shuttle bus back to the Cloister and start thinking about the Dawgs playing three games in Atlanta around the turn of the year. DAWGS WIN 33-14.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:
We have all seen this movie before. The Dawgs O-Line weaknesses make for an anemic offense and the Dawgs never threaten the Gators (who still have not replaced Greg McGarity's position in their front office staff). You return home to your Hartman Fund renewal package, throw it in the trash, and go buy a set of PXG's with your 2018 season ticket money. GATORS WIN 33-14.


Other games to watch today:

- Tech at Clemson


9. South Carolina

Preseason Line: Georgia -14

WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN:

South Carolina always plays the Dawgs close, and this year is no different. Georgia escapes a brutal game on Jacob Eason's arm and Smart makes it 2-0 against Muschamp. DAWGS WIN 35-31.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:
This is the second-biggest game of the year for the Cocks, and they march between the hedges and pull one off. Jacob Eason tries to do too much with his arm and throws three interceptions, one of which is returned for a touchdown in the third quarter. A late score by SC makes the game look worse than it actually is. COCKS WIN 41-24.

Other games to watch today:

- LSU at Alabama

- Auburn at Texas A&M

- Georgia State at Georgia Southern


10. at Auburn (Preseason Line: Auburn -10)

WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN:
Lately Auburn has been snakebit when it comes to playing the Dawgs. They run out of gas early in the year and limp into the offseason with games against Georgia and archrival Bama back-to-back. Georgia takes this one at Jordan-Hare in an "instant-classic" that features a late TD pass to Issac Nauta over the middle. DAWGS WIN 21-14.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:
With his back against the wall after dropping games to Mississippi State and LSU early in the season, Gus Malzahn pulls out all of the stops to beat the Dawgs. Auburn loses their next game to Alabama 1,000,000-0 and Malzahn is fired anyway. TIGERS WIN 38-35.

Other games to watch today:

- Alabama at Miss. State

- Tennessee at Missouri


11. Kentucky

WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN:
Cashing in on the influence gained over an amazingly successful second season, Kirby Smart wins over the alcohol distributors who have been plotting since 2016 to replace Greg McGarity with his hand-picked AD candidate, a quietly wealthy semi-retired businessman from Atlanta who lets Kriby play Peachtree whenever, takes no quarter, and fires Alan Thomas as his first order of business.  The Dawgs also beat Kentucky 48-17.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:
Suzanne Yoculan completes her year-long coup attempt to unseat Greg McGarity as Georgia's next J. Reid Parker Director of Athletics. They have a joint press conference where it is announced all Coca-Cola products at UGA will be replaced by Melwood Springs water, and alcohol will be made available for purchase at all UGA sports events. Don Leeburn kicks someone's ass for the hell of it. The Dawgs also beat Kentucky 48-17.

Other games to watch today:

- Mercer at Alabama

- LSU at Tennessee


12. at Georgia Tech (Preseason Line: UGA -2.5)

WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN:
Georgia takes the field to a majority red-filled Bobby Dodd Stadium under the bright lights of Midtown Atlanta for a 7:45 p.m. kickoff. More than a little embarrassed about being 0-1 against Tech, Kirby Smart has his defense ready for the triple option, and busted pitch plays from Tech lead to 14 points worth of defensive scoring for the Dawgs, UGA rolls 31-17. 

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:
Still stymied by the seemingly endless pitches and reversed fields that come with the Paul Johnson offense, the Georgia Defense gives up 30 points to Tech. Luckily, Tech's defense isn't exactly made up of rocket scientists either, and UGA puts up 41 off the old play-action set-up. UGA wins 41-30. Suzanne Yoculan is fired as AD after she choke-slams Paul Johnson as he jogs back to the locker room. This blog is re-named "the Suzanne Yoculan choke-slam Game Notes." Greg McGarity comes back to be AD under a handshake agreement he will leave as soon as he is eligible for the UGA retirement package.


Other games to watch today:

- The Egg Bowl (Thanksgiving Day)

- The Iron Bowl

- Clemson at South Carolina

- Ohio State at Michigan

- Florida State at Florida


13. SEC Championship

WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN:
Atlanta Dawgs get to see the good guys play two weeks in a row in the Capital of the Bulldawg Nation. After years of struggling to find footing in the worst SEC Eastern Division in two generations, the Dawgs finally establish themselves as the "team-to-beat" year-in and year-out in the SEC East. Georgia faces Alabama at the Mercedes-Benz stadium, but drops a solid effort against the Tide.  DAWGS LOSE 28-24.


WHAT WILL HAPPEN:
You catch a few minutes of the Alabama - Florida game out of the corner of your eye while Chirstmas shopping and checking Twitter to see if the Dawgs are headed to either the Taxslayer Bowl or the Belk Bowl.


14. BOWL GAME

WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN:
Missing the playoff thanks to the SEC CG loss, the Dawgs play in the Cotton Bowl against Clemson. Georgia fans travel in droves to other vacation spots on the holiday break and watch some of the game on TV from Cabo or Aspen or somewhere else.


WHAT WILL HAPPEN:
Georgia accepts a bid to play Iowa State in the Independence Bowl in Shreveport, Louisiana. You go into credit card debt securing a private plane into Bossier municipal airport and hedge the cost of the trip by "placing it all on Georgia red" at a casino near the airport. The Dawgs beat Iowa State but you lose at the roulette wheel. Georgia fans enter 2018 as the 38-time defending preseason national champs, and you are flat broke.


The 2017 Georgia Bulldogs: 

WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN:
A return to glory and our rightful place as a premier American college football program.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:
Same story, new year.